05.10.2013 16:37

Introducing the New Trolls in Book 3

Every troll book has at least one new troll. I am pleased to announce that Trolls on Ice has nine! You'll also see the return of some existing, much-loved characters such as Bruno Super-Troll-Knobbly-Foot. The book, which will be the third in my Smelly Troll series, is all about the Winter Trollympics - a sporting event in which trolls from distant lands compete to win events like the troll vault and figure skating.

Brawnulator Powerknees and Mama Bulbousbum Stenchmistress

Brawnulator Powerknees and Mama Bulbousbum Stenchmistress

Brawnulator Powerknees

It's a well-established fact that trolls are very podgy indeed. So, when children are taught to look out for trolls - the green-tinged creatures that look similar to humans - they're taught to look for key signs like fat bellies.

However, Brawnulator Powerknees has developed a special diet in which he only eats thin children. As a result, he has a flat belly. His special diet and daily exercise has made him the strongest and fastest troll in history. Most trolls are built like potatoes filled with rocks, but not Brawnulator; he looks more like a brick stuffed with potatoes.

To a troll, Brawnulator Powerknees is the most attractive creature imaginable. Admirers sketch his figure in the mud with sticks, he signs autographs and some trolls even put straw in their hair to make themselves look more like him.

His hair is light - almost blonde. It hangs in shaggy clumps from his head. His square chin is covered in stubble and his well-defined chest wears a fine layer of golden hair. Unlike most troll cloths, his is not grubby but bright white.

Brawnulator is the reigning Trollympic champion, having entered and won every single event in the last tournament. But will he win again or will one of the other teams, like the Sweltering Swamp come out victorious?

Lavinia Loopywits

With a hairy face, a wide jaw and coarse, short hair, Lavinia Loopywits could easily be mistaken for a man. However, she is definitely a lady troll - her scent, barbecued bogies, is considered very feminine to a troll.

She's Brawnulator's biggest fan. She finds opportunities to see him whenever she can, including sneaking on a train from Sludgeside to the Craggle Alps so that she can watch him in the Winter Trollympics.

Footreek Flabbypecks

Cross country running is hard work, especially when you're fat and smelly. Footreek is very fat and exceptionally smelly. He runs for the Sweltering Swamp's Trollympic team. When he competes, his feet get so stinky that he keeps passing out from the stench. He idolises Brawnulator Powerknees, who can run for ten miles without passing out once.

He is a young troll with thick hair that he likes to spike in the middle. He has big, heavy eyebrows, which give him a slightly smouldering look. His feet smell like farmyard gravy, which some trolls considered enchanting. Of course, he is nowhere near as attractive as Brawnulator Powerknees - nobody is - but he is certainly not unpopular with his fans.

Squirtnose Squiggledbrain

The troll vault is one of the most popular Winter Trollympic events. It involves a troll using a stick to try and launch itself over a high bar. However, troll vaulting is incredibly dangerous and is usually very painful, even for a tough troll.

Squirtnose is the Sweltering Swamp's troll vaulter. His hair is naturally straight, but he has it permed to protect his head. He likes to feed doughnuts onto little girls' arms before eating them. This makes him extra fat and bouncy, to protect his body.

He smells like pan-fried toad liver.

Squirtnose Squiggledbrain, the Sweltering Swamp's Troll Vaulter

Squirtnose Squiggledbrain, the Sweltering Swamp's Troll Vaulter

Bogetta Bogburp

The bobtroll is similar to the human sport, bobsled. Trolls compete to finish an icy course as quickly as they can. However, trolls don't use sleds in this event, because their tough, slimy skin is strong and slippery enough for them to go down on their bottoms.

Bogetta Bogburp is the Sweltering Swamp's bobtroll contestant. She has big, fuzzy hair and wears a sweatband that makes her look like a particularly ugly lioness.

Millicent Maggot

A major Winter Trollympic event is figure skating. Despite being fat, clumsy and slow, trolls take figure skating very seriously. They have both singles and doubles events.

Millicent Maggot skates for the Sweltering Swamp. She is a sight to behold. She is average-sized for a troll - i.e. fat. She has mid-length, spiky purple hair, which matches her favourite skating outfit - a regular grubby troll cloth with a few dozen purple sequins sewn on at random intervals, and a yellow fringe hem.

Wilfred Whiffwizard and Millicent Maggot figure skating.

Wilfred Whiffwizard and Millicent Maggot figure skating.

Wilfred Whiffwizard

If wizards were real, Wilfred would be the wizard of whiffs. He smells like regurgitated fish-and-cough-syrup pie. He's also one of the flabbiest trolls in history. Weirdly, he is one of the most successful figure skaters.

Wilfred comes from a small troll den in the Wailing Woodland, which doesn't have any lady trolls, so he has to skate with a partner from nearby - Millicent Maggot from the Sweltering Swamp.

Wilfred can also be found in a short troll story, Gourmet Girl Burger.

Mama Bulbousbum Stenchmistress

You know all about the most attractive man troll in history, but let me introduce the most attractive woman troll.

Unlike Brawnulator, Mama Bulbousbum Stenchmistress (or Mama Bum Stench for short) is not thin - in fact, she's one of the largest trolls in the land. She has to stick two tape measures together in order to measure her belly. Her bottom is even bigger! She has to have her troll cloths specially made from yacht sails. Her ankles are so flabby that splurging leg fat sometimes brushes along the ground. A rat named Ralf lives in her long, tangled hair.

Mama Bum Stench is clever, for a troll, but Rufus and his friends don't yet know why.

She is chosen to present the Winter Trollympics. This means announcing competitors, presenting prizes and keeping people entertained with her hideous yet mesmerising, hula-hoop belly dance.

We cannot tell you about the ninth new troll in Trolls on Ice, for security reasons.

A children's novel by Rosen Trevithick
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31.03.2017 15:29

Name Generator

One of my favourite things about being an author is designing characters, especially choosing their name. So I decided to write a name generator.

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01.09.2015 17:29

'My Babysitter is a Troll' - Out Now in Paperback

You can now buy my book for younger children, My Babysitter is a Troll, for Kindle and in paperback. Every time a potential babysitter arrives, there's something decidedly wrong with it.

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11.02.2014 10:56

Three hundred primary school children writing and publishing their own novel

Today, I issued a press release about the monster book that I'm writing with 300 children throughout the UK.

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02.01.2014 10:53

Children - would you like to publish a book?

In just four days' time, I will start writing my next monster book with help of children everywhere. If you'd like to take part, the first task will be to create a new species of monster.

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30.11.2013 19:09

Keep Calm and Say Yarb

An important public service announcement (for trolls).

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30.11.2013 12:38

Which is better, reading The Trollogy or the Separate Books?

There are three Smelly Troll chapter books to read. But should you buy them separately or purchase The First Trollogy?

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15.11.2013 10:37

Dear David Walliams

Dear David Walliams, I want yer to interview me about being a smelly troll. What do you smell like?

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10.11.2013 19:43

Troll Name Generator

I have created a page that generates random troll names, places and smelly. Simply go to the Troll Name Generator to read a brand new random troll name. Or input your own name to find out what you would be called if you were a troll.

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18.10.2013 16:18

Thanks to Foxhole School For Welcoming Me Along for the Afternoon

Many thanks to the staff and children at Foxhole School for welcoming me into their library yesterday afternoon. Special thanks to the children who made me presents of pictures.

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08.10.2013 18:06

Snotacular Travel Game (For Kids and Big Kids)

Want something funny to play on long journeys? How about making up snotacular place names?

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Keep Calm and Say Yarb ~ Make Boglewax Not War

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